OWN YOUR SHIT

Let me set the record straight: when I say “own your shit,” I’m not sitting up on a judgmental throne with a perfect life and a spotless past. No, I’m coming from a place of deep, messy, human experience. There was a time—okay, several times—when I was angry at the world and convinced my life was just a cruel series of injustices and unfair events. It wasn’t a proud phase. I hurt people I cared about, and for a while, I played the victim like I was auditioning for an Oscar.
Then it hit me: I was not just the actor, I was the author of the screenplay the whole time. I blamed others for the pain and disappointment, but guess what? Life isn't perfect for anyone; I was just making it worse and I was the one who was actually creating the drama. When I finally owned my role and the power I had in creating the chao - I realized I could use that same power to create the solution. When I was willing to say I was wrong and learn from the mess I made, I could change anything and everything. I was genuinely sorry for the pain I caused and wanted better for everyone in my life, including myself, because we deserve it and I finally saw my own worth. Despite the mess, I had resilience, strength, and the ability to learn from it all. That’s when I truly started owning my shit—and owning my value.

And let’s be real, we've all been there. Sometimes life feels like a never-ending game of dodgeball, and instead of ducking, we’re just standing there, getting pelted by problems. But blaming external forces only gets us so far. At some point, the key to personal growth is to pick up the ball and throw it back. Owning your shit is about taking responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and emotions. It’s uncomfortable, yes, but it’s also the most empowering thing you’ll ever do.

Own Your Shit: A Guide to Personal Growth

1. Self-Awareness: The Mirror You Can’t Avoid

The first step in owning your shit is taking a good, hard look in the mirror. Self-awareness isn’t about staring at your reflection until you find a wrinkle (don't act like you know me). It’s about recognizing your patterns—good, bad, embarrassing, and the messy.

• Practice Mindfulness: Take a few minutes each day to check in with yourself. Notice when your inner critic shows up, or when you find yourself plotting a dramatic reason why you didn't complete a task "Own it". We're all human and we all get busy. People are more likely to trust and respect you for your honesty than the fact that the dog ate your homework. When that inner voice starts bringing up the past or telling lies about your future, be kind and be-friend the inner voice; it's a part of you that needs support and wants to be heard. Remind that part of yourself how much you've grown and what you know you're capable of today.

• Seek Feedback: If you’re really brave, ask a trusted friend for feedback. And when they tell you, “Hey, sometimes you can be a bit intense,” resist the urge to snap back with, “Well, YOU’RE boring!” We have to own it; we can't see ourselves from where we are and that's why I believe we all should embrace being brave to avoid potential events... tell us when we have bad breath, or we broccoli in our teeth, before the meeting, or I don't know... just because it zips doesn't mean it fits! before the skit splits (yep... haha - ugh).

2. Taking Responsibility: Owning Your Epic Fails (and Wins)

Taking responsibility means admitting when you’ve messed up, which is, let’s be honest, not our favorite activity. But it’s also about claiming your victories. You don’t have to walk around carrying the weight of every mistake—own your wins, too!

• Admit Mistakes: Look, everyone makes mistakes. Like the time I offered to help my friend save money and do her highlights for her. (Spoiler: I could not.) The point is, own your missteps and make amends when necessary.

• Learn from Experience: Whether it’s a botched highlights or a failed relationship, there’s a lesson in everything—if you’re willing to look for it. Being able to adapt to life's mishaps is our opportunity to get better at this humaning thing and that includes learning what not to do.

3. Embracing Change: Leaning into the Chaos

Life throws curveballs, and let’s face it, none of us are getting out unscathed. But change isn’t the enemy—resisting it is. Owning your shit means adapting, even when you’d rather just hide under the covers and wait for the storm to pass.

• Be Open to Growth: Look at it this way, if it weren't for growth, you'd still be shitting your pants, drinking from a sippy cup and eating a jar of peas for lunch. You were resilient when learning to walk, no matter how many times you fell down, and look at you now.

• Set Goals: Even if that goal is just “get out of bed before 10 AM.” Start small, but start. Progress is progress.

4. Empowering Yourself: You’ve Got This

Owning your shit isn’t just about dragging yourself through the mud of your past mistakes. It’s about recognizing that, at the end of the day, you’re in charge of your life. Scary, right? But also kind of awesome.

• Cultivate Positivity: Surround yourself with people who don’t make you feel like the world’s biggest screw-up. Choose those who push you to be better but still let you laugh at yourself and remind you what you're capable of. The same trusted friend who tells you need to refresh your deodorant, will likely be the friend who will remind you why you should apply for your dream job.

• Celebrate Achievements: Did you make it through a day without a meltdown? Celebrate that. Did you crush a work presentation? Find a dance partner and do your happy dance! Everyone loves a reason to celebrate so share the good news, and be proud of yourself; you're a badass.

The Benefits of Owning Your Shit: (Spoiler, It doesn't stink)

When you truly own your shit, something amazing happens: you start to feel more confident, your relationships improve, and you become ~gasp~ resilient. And life without resilience, is like that one rubber band at the bottom of the box of 100,000 - never stretched, just sitting there all dried up and brittle. One day, it’ll snap, and trust me, the "been there - done that" shirt isn't all that great.

• Increased Confidence: There’s nothing like owning your decisions—good or bad—that makes you walk a little taller (and I'm not just talking about the red-bottom shoes). It's holding your head high in your comfiest sweatpants kind of confidence.

• Stronger Relationships: When you stop blaming everyone else for your problems and start taking responsibility, your relationships improve. Turns out, people like it when you admit you’re not perfect.

• Greater Resilience: Owning your shit means facing challenges head-on. Just like the rubber band that gets stretched and then returns to it's normal size; the more you do it, the more you realize you can handle. And that’s a superpower worth cultivating.

Ready to Own Your Shit?

Remember, owning your shit isn’t about being perfect. It’s about recognizing that life’s messes are just part of the process of being a human, no matter how young or old we are. Personal growth isn’t a straight line—it’s more like a rollercoaster, but with fewer seatbelts and a lot more screaming. The good news? You’re the one in the driver’s seat. So buckle up, lean into the uncomfortable moments, and own your journey.

Until next time, Be Bold and Own Your Shit!
Shawn

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